Just feel like it could happen.......

Life brings opportunities in many different ways. We may not always know what it may be or what it may lead to. The ripples of life are always in motion and how far they reach out is grey. Sometimes these opportunities are obscure and sometimes rather obvious. I have recently experienced a brief glimpse of what is to come, and hopefully soon is what to come. Sadly I have also witnessed some negatives and some issues that I feel may be more intense as time goes on. I also fear my integrity. The last thing I want is to be left with nothing. All I can do is pray and have faith that whomever is watching, some supernatural being (has been known as god), will direct us on the course of the straight and narrow. Life is temptation and uncertainty and I hope that all is well and nobody, and I mean nobody, is unjust.

The power of equality...

Experience is the mother of invention

The path we are familiar with has no stone unturned but the short cut that's parallel can destroy the unlearned.

The world is full of a variety of people. With each person comes experience and a priceless point of view that can never be replicated. Some people are all too ignorant of what is around them and hold a mind set that is stubborn and will not bend to the changes of time. Some people share what they experience and try to change the undetermined course of the future, hopefully for the better.

When we see a pathway that has already been walked we learn more and more about ourselves and the path we walk down until eventually there is not a single stoned that has not been seen or touched. This leads to curiosity and ingenuity, which are great. But it at the point that we ignore experiences, whether personal or shared, that problems can arise. It should be an effort of the general public to move forward. Sadly however this is not the case and we will forever be doomed to repeat history, in many cases not all.

It is all too sad that our society has evolved to its status and it is us dreamers that look for the light in the darkness.

When we focus on the negative, our lives reflect that. Let us think and feel positively and rest assure that life will not seem so dismal.

I love to be challenged. I love to learn and I am a bit of a perfectionist. This is a bad combination sometimes from what I have encountered.  As some of you may know I attend school for software engineering, I work full time, I am in the band Tribal Path (currently getting ready for a recording), and I am a husband and father. I cannot spread time my time equally. This has created some problems for which I can only add to the plate that is  already too full. I try to do the best that I can for everything but I find myself growing weary through the days, some more than others, some days I feel like lying in bed doing absolutely nothing except watching TV or playing some games.  My brain is near a meltdown some times. I am not trying to complain, although it may seem like that, I am just want the important people in my life to realize that there is something to all this. It is to secure  a better and brighter future, it is be the person that I want and can be and to make the possibilities to my loved ones come to a reality.  What more can I do?
All that I ask is that the sacrifices that both sides make do not add to that plate. Life is hard enough as it is right now and the more we can enjoy what we have now the brighter life can be.

When we focus on the negative, our lives reflect that. Let us think and feel positively and rest assure that life will not seem so dismal. It is better to start from the bottom, knowing the trials and tribulations for respecting the journey to the top will create a throne for a life time. If you do not, then it is a long and hard some road back down that path.....

Subconscious vomiting and words that string together......

So tired

and so alone

stuck in this shell with nowhere to go

no matter what happens

the feelings are true

one heart breaks

the other does too

so far and so long

are not to be blamed

the absence of faith

is the end of the game?

but what brings it out

is it numerous afflictions?

one becomes three

and sometimes treason

not without a care

a thought

or dream

moving through my book

is not as easy as it seems

where one chapter ends

another picks up

but like a child who can't focus

I keep getting stuck

just want the best

no matter what it takes?

one bird and two stones

but my heart is at stake

into the abyss of unknown but not yet new

is where the answers lie, for me and you?

tossing and turning, the thoughts scream all night

my dreams become nightmares, they squeeze me so tight

stare into the water, a reflection of truth

look beyond the misery that lies onto you

to have and behold

it’s all been said before

chapter 6 verse 1

is where they stole it but no more

i'm tired of not living

but living to work

for things that don't matter

as much as they should

sacrifice to those

who can't fathom the pain

two places at once

and it’s beyond repair

no answer, none at all

until 2 days have passed

the calls of what have been

are losing their grasp

still, the person I am prevents me from leaving

these feelings and situations are more than appealing

too tangled, such a mess

from my feet to my head

one shot from enlightenment

would cause such unrest

I digress and rest

on words that warrant sleep

from the mind of a troubled young sheep

short on years

but long on wisdom

still too much to learn

so where do I begin then?

one step at a time and i'm sure I’ll be alright

but that first step is in the dark

and I don’t have a light.....

The Truth is what you make it......

Sorry I do not agree Mr. Kierkegaard

Dear Kierkegaard,

     In my one of my most recent studies, I came across some of your readings and lectures. While I find your intellect fascinating and certainly “outside the box” I feel that your take on an individual’s life is a bit saddening. Despair, fear, suffering, dread, all of those emotions that you declare fill the world are manifestations of an individual’s conflict with physical turmoil and ethical and religious dilemmas. I would have to agree with you, but then again I do not. For I believe in what you say as a small part of a whole in the metaphysical and physical realms of the world. Such as yin and yang, the sun and moon, the earth and sky, there is always a counter part to another and the more variables that one has the more counter parts you will have to balance out the equation. Life is and equation, a never ending process by which a variable, in this case a person, searches for and tries to define themselves at the end. Some may lose themselves along the path and only derive the result of despair, suffering, fear, dread, amongst other emotions. Then there are individuals who seem to parallel the same equation with a much more positive outlook on life full of happiness, luck, confidence, and warmth. Sure there are dark emotions that surface an individual’s life from time to time. Attitude is everything and our perception of the world determines our attitude. Along with attitude, comes an innate quality of environmental upbringings, meaning that our existence from infant to adult does shape our attitude and perspective on life.  A beggar that lives in the slums with parents of negative attitudes, where food is scarce, warmth and shelter are in dismay, and the presence of hope is nearly all but gone will more than likely have the same attitude of despair, fear, dread. The beggar knows nothing outside the realm of darkness and so shall live in such. Take a wealthy family where the opposite of the beggar is obvious. Opportunities, shelter, food, things that the beggar could only wish for are present, does the individual brought up in this lifestyle have a much more positive outlook on life? That depends, you can take both situations with the same attitude and both individuals will have a negative perspective on life, regardless of what environment. The same can be said for the opposites of these. One individual with a poorer environment and one with a wealthy environment where both attitudes are positive will more than likely be on the other side of the spectrum.  My point is that, while there is despair in the world, it is not what governs people. As humans, we have the ability to change our lives through a variety of medians including our perspective on our world. Do you find this irrational? Perhaps it may be, but even the declaration of an irrational world requires rational thinking and observation. To be able to observe the world around us, analyze and learn from it is one talent that we all possess but in each individual it is slightly different. I do not disregard the fact that there are certain truths in world. Truth means nothing if we cannot agree with one another. We agree that the sky is blue, we breathe air, the earth is round, those are the truths that we inherit from our ancestors, are these truths irrational? So I ask you, why do you believe in the darker side of life? What experiences have you led in your life to develop this perception of the world? Metaphorically, the truth is what you make it, and if you believe in a more positive world then you may find that there is more here than you first assumed. Let me tell you of a personal experience of mine. Earlier in my days, in my early teens, my parents moved a lot and my shyness only grew from the habit of being torn apart from the friends that I have gathered in each area we lived in. I grew up without a father, and my confidence in myself was low. These emotions of fear and despair were definitely present in my mind, and it showed. I eventually succumbed to pathways of enlightenment such as drugs, alcohol, and other things outside of nature to be socially acceptable for a glimpse of being a part of a whole. Eventually at some point I grew tired of the same anguish that I let myself endure of years and I broke out of my box. I was a new man, more confident, desired, and my true nature was shining. After this personal revelation was when I felt that I was part of a whole. It is when one can accept the environment around and make the best out of it, not letting the negatives control them, can someone break out of the box of despair. All it takes is the attitude. 

If I only knew......

Just one of those weeks that you say to yourself "fuck". But lately I have been feeling like that,  trouble with relationships  makes me feel like becoming a hermit to clear my mind and soul. But then I have work, school, the band, kids, and everything in between that I have ties with so certain aspects of my reality are a bit dependent of me, as well as my well being.

Ok, so I can't escape, maybe I can drown myself in other modes of mindless self indulgence. Reading? Video Games? Countless hours on YouTube or Facebook? Writing Music? Ah i'll find something. But that is beside the point.

What I really am getting at is, there are phases in everyone's life that fate delivers. It will give you some bullshit to deal with and then at the wrong time (or right ) bring something that makes you feel so freakin' optimistic. Yea, that is happening to me lately, and the most exciting thing that I am looking forward to is recording this summer for Tribal Path's first album. From what I am hearing, and through my observations, is that the music industry is in dire need of a new jolt of fresh music, modern day pioneers in the field of music that will completely revolutionize music as we know it. It will be such on honor when that day comes, and I look forward to knowing what bands will follow us. I am not trying to be cocky here, just stating the fact that I am confident in this band and the events that will come.

No seriously what the Fuck.......

Every once in a while life just decides to say hey, I know you are having a tough time but um..we thought we would make things even harder. Doesn't matter what it is, fate has a way of coming at the worst times. Sometimes I feel like I just need to hide for a little bit and let the storm die, collect my thoughts and let all the stress out before I hurt people.

What is going on, if you are really putting a solid effort in life and people can't appreciate that or fuck, whatever, maybe it is time to move on. But is moving on always the answer? I am not the one that can answer that, but one thing is for sure, life is too short to deal with all the bullshit, you have to find what makes you happy.

The meaning of life is to give life meaning.