2012!!!!! Nostradamus I bet your wrong, he's gotta be.......

So it is a new year. 2012! And for some believers the final year before, well you probably know....

But what does it all really mean for us? Not a global apocalyptic event but starting another year?
The end of an old year reminds us of reality. The things we may or may not have accomplished. The people we wanted to meet. The places we wanted to go. The lottery we wanted to win. Or perhaps the apologies that were long over due. As we close one year and start another we are reminded that life is always growing shorter and with each new day brings beginnings, challenges, and problems, depending on how you look at it.

So what are my resolutions? I don't really believe in resolutions, I feel that we don't need the start of a new year to clean an old slate. That slate is the only one we will have in our lives and it is up to us to do the best we can to put what we want on there, a new year can't simply just wipe it clean. But I appreciate the emotional impact in a year. While many things could be hard a new year gives something more to the mind, body, and spirit than just another trip around the solar system. It gives us hope, cheer, it gives us a new frame of mind and lets our spirit take a deep breath and feel refreshed.

This yea is gonna get its ass kicked......

Almost as good as the pumpkin pie....

Thanksgiving is here. Friends and family gather to celebrate another year of blessings or at the very least the blessing of family at an unfortunate time. What ever your reasons this is a time, the usual string of holidays at the end of the year that make it that much more bearable, where there is one truth that I believe that we all can agree on. That the most important thing is to remember that  the only "real" thing that we have is those  we associate ourselves with, our friends and family. Material items may make the situations more fancy but no matter where you are, when you pass those buttered rolls around, chow down on some mashed potatoes and turkey, grab the stuffing and yams, and try to save enough room for pie, the last thing that is going through your mind should be the comfort you get when you enjoy life with those you love.

The end of the year approaches and we can  look forward to another year full of possibilities. I think the thing we have to ask ourselves is how do we want to see it as......no matter what may be going on there is always good and bad in everything......

May your soul be as full as your stomach.

Cocaine is a hell of a drug.....

Get up and go go !!!

Today I am in the mood to do something, and I don't mean running down the block or to the gas station to get a pack of smokes. I am talking about something that is big, something that is big enough to effect the world. Mainly for me it is music, I feel the vibrations of the universe coursing through the fibers of my being urging me to write and create new music only to be devoured by the unknowingly ignorant minds of the general public. But this is a good thing and let me tell you why. First let me say that I am a firm believer in "vibes" I trust my gut instincts and when I didn't I ended up paying for it, the universe is too big for there not to be a possibility for this nature. Second, the mass media that is streaming out of the radio and Tv is simply lacking of real/true creativity. Most of the bands today fit inside the box of conformism, I don't like nor appreciate this nature but there are few bands that have the talent and the gift to stray away from that path.

So back to my main point.  My fingers are itching to create more music and I yearn for those ears to listen to the creative juices that make good and original music. Whether you are feeling up or down, sideways, upside down, inside out, outside in, slightly strange, or completely insane, the world is always at your finger tips. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise that you can't do something (with respect to humanity) because we all have the potential for something great and it is in my belief that humanity has lost sight of this which is why we are experiencing such sorrow and hardship.

Just like in Bill & Ted's excellent adventure and bogus journey, music will save the world. So could Tribal Path create music that instills World Peace? Stranger things have happened......

Let he who is without sin cast the first rift!

Just feel like it could happen.......

Life brings opportunities in many different ways. We may not always know what it may be or what it may lead to. The ripples of life are always in motion and how far they reach out is grey. Sometimes these opportunities are obscure and sometimes rather obvious. I have recently experienced a brief glimpse of what is to come, and hopefully soon is what to come. Sadly I have also witnessed some negatives and some issues that I feel may be more intense as time goes on. I also fear my integrity. The last thing I want is to be left with nothing. All I can do is pray and have faith that whomever is watching, some supernatural being (has been known as god), will direct us on the course of the straight and narrow. Life is temptation and uncertainty and I hope that all is well and nobody, and I mean nobody, is unjust.

The power of equality...

Experience is the mother of invention

The path we are familiar with has no stone unturned but the short cut that's parallel can destroy the unlearned.

The world is full of a variety of people. With each person comes experience and a priceless point of view that can never be replicated. Some people are all too ignorant of what is around them and hold a mind set that is stubborn and will not bend to the changes of time. Some people share what they experience and try to change the undetermined course of the future, hopefully for the better.

When we see a pathway that has already been walked we learn more and more about ourselves and the path we walk down until eventually there is not a single stoned that has not been seen or touched. This leads to curiosity and ingenuity, which are great. But it at the point that we ignore experiences, whether personal or shared, that problems can arise. It should be an effort of the general public to move forward. Sadly however this is not the case and we will forever be doomed to repeat history, in many cases not all.

It is all too sad that our society has evolved to its status and it is us dreamers that look for the light in the darkness.

When we focus on the negative, our lives reflect that. Let us think and feel positively and rest assure that life will not seem so dismal.

I love to be challenged. I love to learn and I am a bit of a perfectionist. This is a bad combination sometimes from what I have encountered.  As some of you may know I attend school for software engineering, I work full time, I am in the band Tribal Path (currently getting ready for a recording), and I am a husband and father. I cannot spread time my time equally. This has created some problems for which I can only add to the plate that is  already too full. I try to do the best that I can for everything but I find myself growing weary through the days, some more than others, some days I feel like lying in bed doing absolutely nothing except watching TV or playing some games.  My brain is near a meltdown some times. I am not trying to complain, although it may seem like that, I am just want the important people in my life to realize that there is something to all this. It is to secure  a better and brighter future, it is be the person that I want and can be and to make the possibilities to my loved ones come to a reality.  What more can I do?
All that I ask is that the sacrifices that both sides make do not add to that plate. Life is hard enough as it is right now and the more we can enjoy what we have now the brighter life can be.

When we focus on the negative, our lives reflect that. Let us think and feel positively and rest assure that life will not seem so dismal. It is better to start from the bottom, knowing the trials and tribulations for respecting the journey to the top will create a throne for a life time. If you do not, then it is a long and hard some road back down that path.....

Subconscious vomiting and words that string together......

So tired

and so alone

stuck in this shell with nowhere to go

no matter what happens

the feelings are true

one heart breaks

the other does too

so far and so long

are not to be blamed

the absence of faith

is the end of the game?

but what brings it out

is it numerous afflictions?

one becomes three

and sometimes treason

not without a care

a thought

or dream

moving through my book

is not as easy as it seems

where one chapter ends

another picks up

but like a child who can't focus

I keep getting stuck

just want the best

no matter what it takes?

one bird and two stones

but my heart is at stake

into the abyss of unknown but not yet new

is where the answers lie, for me and you?

tossing and turning, the thoughts scream all night

my dreams become nightmares, they squeeze me so tight

stare into the water, a reflection of truth

look beyond the misery that lies onto you

to have and behold

it’s all been said before

chapter 6 verse 1

is where they stole it but no more

i'm tired of not living

but living to work

for things that don't matter

as much as they should

sacrifice to those

who can't fathom the pain

two places at once

and it’s beyond repair

no answer, none at all

until 2 days have passed

the calls of what have been

are losing their grasp

still, the person I am prevents me from leaving

these feelings and situations are more than appealing

too tangled, such a mess

from my feet to my head

one shot from enlightenment

would cause such unrest

I digress and rest

on words that warrant sleep

from the mind of a troubled young sheep

short on years

but long on wisdom

still too much to learn

so where do I begin then?

one step at a time and i'm sure I’ll be alright

but that first step is in the dark

and I don’t have a light.....

The Truth is what you make it......

Sorry I do not agree Mr. Kierkegaard

Dear Kierkegaard,

     In my one of my most recent studies, I came across some of your readings and lectures. While I find your intellect fascinating and certainly “outside the box” I feel that your take on an individual’s life is a bit saddening. Despair, fear, suffering, dread, all of those emotions that you declare fill the world are manifestations of an individual’s conflict with physical turmoil and ethical and religious dilemmas. I would have to agree with you, but then again I do not. For I believe in what you say as a small part of a whole in the metaphysical and physical realms of the world. Such as yin and yang, the sun and moon, the earth and sky, there is always a counter part to another and the more variables that one has the more counter parts you will have to balance out the equation. Life is and equation, a never ending process by which a variable, in this case a person, searches for and tries to define themselves at the end. Some may lose themselves along the path and only derive the result of despair, suffering, fear, dread, amongst other emotions. Then there are individuals who seem to parallel the same equation with a much more positive outlook on life full of happiness, luck, confidence, and warmth. Sure there are dark emotions that surface an individual’s life from time to time. Attitude is everything and our perception of the world determines our attitude. Along with attitude, comes an innate quality of environmental upbringings, meaning that our existence from infant to adult does shape our attitude and perspective on life.  A beggar that lives in the slums with parents of negative attitudes, where food is scarce, warmth and shelter are in dismay, and the presence of hope is nearly all but gone will more than likely have the same attitude of despair, fear, dread. The beggar knows nothing outside the realm of darkness and so shall live in such. Take a wealthy family where the opposite of the beggar is obvious. Opportunities, shelter, food, things that the beggar could only wish for are present, does the individual brought up in this lifestyle have a much more positive outlook on life? That depends, you can take both situations with the same attitude and both individuals will have a negative perspective on life, regardless of what environment. The same can be said for the opposites of these. One individual with a poorer environment and one with a wealthy environment where both attitudes are positive will more than likely be on the other side of the spectrum.  My point is that, while there is despair in the world, it is not what governs people. As humans, we have the ability to change our lives through a variety of medians including our perspective on our world. Do you find this irrational? Perhaps it may be, but even the declaration of an irrational world requires rational thinking and observation. To be able to observe the world around us, analyze and learn from it is one talent that we all possess but in each individual it is slightly different. I do not disregard the fact that there are certain truths in world. Truth means nothing if we cannot agree with one another. We agree that the sky is blue, we breathe air, the earth is round, those are the truths that we inherit from our ancestors, are these truths irrational? So I ask you, why do you believe in the darker side of life? What experiences have you led in your life to develop this perception of the world? Metaphorically, the truth is what you make it, and if you believe in a more positive world then you may find that there is more here than you first assumed. Let me tell you of a personal experience of mine. Earlier in my days, in my early teens, my parents moved a lot and my shyness only grew from the habit of being torn apart from the friends that I have gathered in each area we lived in. I grew up without a father, and my confidence in myself was low. These emotions of fear and despair were definitely present in my mind, and it showed. I eventually succumbed to pathways of enlightenment such as drugs, alcohol, and other things outside of nature to be socially acceptable for a glimpse of being a part of a whole. Eventually at some point I grew tired of the same anguish that I let myself endure of years and I broke out of my box. I was a new man, more confident, desired, and my true nature was shining. After this personal revelation was when I felt that I was part of a whole. It is when one can accept the environment around and make the best out of it, not letting the negatives control them, can someone break out of the box of despair. All it takes is the attitude. 

If I only knew......

Just one of those weeks that you say to yourself "fuck". But lately I have been feeling like that,  trouble with relationships  makes me feel like becoming a hermit to clear my mind and soul. But then I have work, school, the band, kids, and everything in between that I have ties with so certain aspects of my reality are a bit dependent of me, as well as my well being.

Ok, so I can't escape, maybe I can drown myself in other modes of mindless self indulgence. Reading? Video Games? Countless hours on YouTube or Facebook? Writing Music? Ah i'll find something. But that is beside the point.

What I really am getting at is, there are phases in everyone's life that fate delivers. It will give you some bullshit to deal with and then at the wrong time (or right ) bring something that makes you feel so freakin' optimistic. Yea, that is happening to me lately, and the most exciting thing that I am looking forward to is recording this summer for Tribal Path's first album. From what I am hearing, and through my observations, is that the music industry is in dire need of a new jolt of fresh music, modern day pioneers in the field of music that will completely revolutionize music as we know it. It will be such on honor when that day comes, and I look forward to knowing what bands will follow us. I am not trying to be cocky here, just stating the fact that I am confident in this band and the events that will come.

No seriously what the Fuck.......

Every once in a while life just decides to say hey, I know you are having a tough time but um..we thought we would make things even harder. Doesn't matter what it is, fate has a way of coming at the worst times. Sometimes I feel like I just need to hide for a little bit and let the storm die, collect my thoughts and let all the stress out before I hurt people.

What is going on, if you are really putting a solid effort in life and people can't appreciate that or fuck, whatever, maybe it is time to move on. But is moving on always the answer? I am not the one that can answer that, but one thing is for sure, life is too short to deal with all the bullshit, you have to find what makes you happy.

The meaning of life is to give life meaning.

An inevitable inconvenience

Have you ever found yourself helping someone, doesn't matter what it is, and it seems like they don't really get at really what you are saying?  I need to give them a smack in the head and knock that common sense back in place. Imagine someone that got into the drug scene, small town, they have been through a lot of shit and the people they surround themselves with are not the greatest people. Now imagine them trying to get out of that lifestyle. Typically for one to do this, the best mode for change is to COMPLETELY dissociated themselves with whom they friended (influences), the environment, and get a positive point of view, strict enough to keep them inline. 

That is where I am at, my friend just does not heed my warning, it is their choice if they want to have a tag along, another social reject that did the drugs and now wants to come clean, but there are just somethings you have to do alone. The temptation of the old lifestyle increases that much more by having a physical and emotional reminder of what was. 

What can I really do? Nothing, but I do not offer my ear to just anyone, hell no. ARG, so much frustration and really there is nothing that I can really do about it, that is what makes me even more frustrated. I don't know about people these days, seems I have grown up and half them try to be grown up. Being an adult doesn't just mean that you pay bills, have a home, car, whatever, no it is a mental status. The ability to critically think choices in life, not be easily persuaded by environmental pressures, and the ability to take responsibility for one's actions and the initiative to change it for the better....

If the future doesn't exist then what is it?

More than a Feeling....

Ever get those days where you feel like all the mundane bullshit is not cutting it for some reason? Where you feel like you need or are going to do something great or meaningful but for some reason it just hasn't happened yet.  Maybe it is helping someone who fell in the street or perhaps giving someone food or a few bucks, and hell let's face you might think booze but they turn around and take that change and make a difference in the world.

There is no possible way to know what the future holds for us, but we (at least I do) get these vibes, feelings, not exactly premonitions but some kind of awareness that something great is going to happen. I wish it would just happen already.

Not that I am saying I am not happy with my life, of course it could be better but I make do with what I have and the decisions I have made. Something is going to happen and I can't describe it but it is powerful but at the same time I also feel like something negative is going to happen with it. No one is going to do die or anything like that, but something is going to put a damper on this event and really put it through trials.

The worst part of it is the waiting, the awareness of your future but not knowing when, how, or even why.

What it really means writing a blog.

Writing in a blog is not the same as writing a journal or diary. Blogs are available to anyone to see so of course use discretion when putting something on here. No, I have these thought, random thought that chain with other thoughts that I need to get out and on to another format such as blogs or even paper. 

I like to share, I like to put my spin on life and see how people perceive it, sometimes good and sometimes bad. There are no right or wrong answers in writing it is simply a physical manifestation of what is brewing inside someone's heart and soul.  

The meaning of a blog to me is to share a part of who I am with the rest of the world, allowing anyone to see the world as I do. I may even make a difference. Words are  a powerful tool, they can break a heart or mend it, put countries at peace or at war, make or break friends, keep you in trouble or out of trouble.  The better you are with them the better off you will be. 

Reality is a concept of the human condition.

24 going on 40

What the fuck, is it just me or is that some people are just so fucking lazy these day. I did the construction thing for  while. Get up early, work your ass off, take a break, work your ass off again and head home around 2 or 3 ( later if you have overtime).

I know people that just don't seem to have the same mentality as I do, I seem to have more in common with people 10years my senior. Perhaps it was being raised by my grandpa, or maybe while my mom went to school and work ( I love you mom thanks for supporting us, I am doing it now and I see how hard it really is) and I had to grow up fast. What ever it is if I have to drive somewhere that is an hour away I am leaving damn early to get off early and beat the traffic, that 's how I do it. But apparently some people don't like that even if they live 5 minutes away.

I don't know what's wrong with some of these people but they need a lecture from the older generations. Come on gramps tell them whats up!

It is what it is I guess, not much I can do except deal with it one way or another. But still I think the US wouldn't get as much shit from other countries anymore.

E=MC get the fuck to work..

The influence, the inspiration of Cosmopolitician

So I was at the park today with family, a little grill and chill. It was the same park that one of my friend's ashes were buried with a tree in his honor, Nikko. Good guy, I didn't hang out with him that much, or get to ever really truly know him like others but I could tell you he is one of those guys that would just make an impression regardless.

In June of '08, he was shot and killed, wrong place and wrong time deal. And just like that it was over. That sparked the beginning of Cosmpolitician, a song about losing people you love because of what is going on in the US, it also has relations with the war and all that bullshit.
The part where there is a specific reference goes like this,

"like a politician who cheats and lies, no rules so wrong innocence dies, Nikko we called him he had the most beautiful eyes......"

Well at the park today his mom, Connie, was there too, odd the way it worked out. I told her about the song, and the show I managed to put on for him to raise money and all that. It was a moving moment, almost 3 years later. It is strange how somethings just hit us like that out of the blue.

A bit later she left and I noticed some kids looking at the tree, playing with the ribbons and shit. I was thinking to myself, where the fuck are your parents? No one was watching them while they were at the park!   ARG, you don't understand what that tree, the ribbons, the notes, all of it and what it means.

You parents who just let their kids do whatever they want, get a grip on them. If I wasn't the decent person that I am now, I surely would have done something.

Nikko, god rest your soul brotha.....

R E S P E C T !

Ok so there is something ticking me off, just a little bit.  How long does it take to drink a beer, can of soda, check your e-mail, play games on face book, brush your teeth, figure out what clever thing to say  for your new post on these social networks, flip through channels, have a smoke, clip your toe nails, stare at yourself in the mirror  BLAH BLAH BLAH!
But it seems no one talks a few minutes to actually read these blogs I am writing.

I am trying to get something started. And it is the same shit with Tribal Path, so much fucking potential and yet there seems to be no outlet for it right now. We blow 90% of bands out of the water.

Back to these blogs. I have "different" style of writing I like to think, and I think if I had some followers, readers, people leave comments, that someone might notice and that could bring greater things. but apparently everyone is to busy. If you read this leave a comment that you do.

My ears are burning......

There are sometimes when you realize what you are doing is bad for such as smoking or drinking and eating fast food everyday. Well moderation could prove better in most cases but sometimes people just want something, let them enjoy it.  I am smoker and  while I am not a chain smoker I want to be able to enjoy my smokes when I have them. I just really hate it when I run into to people or some of my family members are giving me lectures on why I shouldn't smoke blah blah blah.  Look I know the reasons why I shouldn't and I know what the possibilities are if I do, this is what I want right now and it is a small little thing that I want to enjoy.

What ever the reason for your vice, make sure that you can enjoy it without causing too much disturbance, then it really is a problem. You shouldn't affect the people around you, to a certain degree anyway. A little bit of moderation. Hell did you know beer in moderation is actually healthy for you? TRUE! There are a lot of new studies and tests that change our attitude about life and the things in it.  "Tonight at 10, there is something in your house you you every day but could kill you at any moment, find out tonight", what the fuck is that shit, that is the real problem right there......

Pass the cigarette on the left hand side.

A little Yoga on the side please......

I hate working out sometimes. Sometimes I feel rushed and that I don't have enough time, which is the case most the time, so I squeeze in a quick work out. But does it really accomplish anything? Apparently you can lose 1800 calories just by sitting in your bed all day. So eat 1800 calories and sit in your bed and you will fine I guess. Nah doesn't work like that sadly. We are a fat nation sorry to say, but we are gluttons. We consume and consume and don;t do anything. Eat right do some exercise and the states would be better. 

All it takes is that first step, hell find a group to motivate you if you need to, join a gym, or find something that makes exercising more fun and not like "exercise" at all.  There s the Wii or Kinect, and that PS2 thingy too.  I started doing the P90X thing and didn't have the motivation for it what with my environment and all. But when I did do it, it really worked and I felt better. Sad to say I have a problem with my sciatic nerve from construction so when it is acting up it hurts like hell, sometimes to a point where I need support walking. 

One thing I found was yoga, from P90X, and I felt it really invigorating. It makes you use your whole body in ways that you never have before. It can be hard sometimes but at the end you are like "GIVE ME MORE". Well whatever works for you, eat right, eat healthy, and sexercise err I mean exercise. 

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. A salad a day keeps the pounds away. Fastfood everyday will make the body pay.

Sometimes life hands you some pretty shitty lemons.....

Sometimes life hands you shitty lemons and you have to learn how to deal with it. Make some shitty lemonade? Sure add a little sugar and it you can't taste the difference. Well for us that hold on to reality we know that life isn't all full of dreams, candy, bubbles, and people throwing confetti at you while shouting your name every time you walk by. Those are REAL people, the people that know you have to work hard to get what you want, the people that don't expect to have things fall in their lap (although will accept it), the people that would sit in a jeans and a t-shirt watching the game or whatever drinking a beer if they had 20 dollars or 2 million dollars.

I see these damn MTV shows where the 16yr old girls have huge parties for their sweet 16, what the fuck is that shit? "Daddy my brand new Mercedes is not blue you ruined my party!" Shut the fuck up and sit down and spoiled punk ass brat. My first car was a '96 Hyundai accent, hunchback, and I loved it. There are so many people that just act spoiled or basically are bitches or assholes who have tons of money and they think the whole world revolves around them. Yea sure, in case you didn't know most of them just are nice because they want your money or you give them stuff or take them to expensive ass places or parties.  Those aren't real friends.....

Real persons would not do that, spend their money as much as they would wipe their ass with it.  Honest, hard working people who know that if giving that kind of blessing their lives would change. And not just for themselves but for their friends and family, without a hesitation. The people that would have millions of dollars but still drive around an old Ford or Chevy or something. Not to say that they wouldn't spoil themselves cause I know I would, but there is a balance there. Have what you want and know that you work you ass for it, you came from living paycheck to pay check and weren't fed with a silver spoon.
The world needs more people like that, I hope something changes.

Is the Glass half empty or full?

One step at a time....

Have you heard? A few companies are starting to make soft drinks out of REAL sugar!
That is incredible, of course isn't how it used to be? Now we have all this high fructose corn syrup and artificial sugars and flavors.

I was working with a company ( who shall remain nameless those bastards) that inventory Home Depots and such, well I didn't realize at the time that Home Depot carries Coca-cola that is made in Mexico. MMMMMMMMMM that was so damn good. I made it a habit to get one at every store, everyday , and anytime that I could. There is something about having a smoke and a nice cold, made with real sugar, coca-cola, well I guess beer too.

So come on soft drink companies, juice companies, shit anyone that makes a drink. USE REAL SUGAR! It taste better, is better for you, and more people would drink it. I didn't like coke that much until I had the REAL stuff. Mmmm........

Now I know a lot of foods we eat have processed crap in it, but in our world that is just how it is. Now of course we could all have our own farm and make our own food, raise our own cattle, blah blah blah, but that is just not going to work.  Can we eat better? of course. In fact if more people would just watch what they eat a little bit more and watched how much they ate, I am sure America would not be the fattest nation in the world. It all starts with one step, it may be hard to get the motivation ( trust me I know) but just find something that motivates you and reminds you of why you want to  be healthy in the first place.

Can we do this? Yes we can!